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Independent Realist (S-M-T)
S-M-T-I-A-R
Self-Reliant Mediator
“I stand on my own within clear boundaries, and when problems arise I find a clear agreement and sort things out.”
- #FirmBoundaries
- #SelfReliance
- #ResolveRightAway
Straightforward and clear, you build a dependable relationship within sensible boundaries. You respect each other's time, step in with practical help when it's needed, and address problems right away.
Strengths
- Steady and dependable, you build an easygoing relationship that respects each other's space.
- When problems come up, you think them through calmly and help in ways that actually work.
- You respect each other's time, yet face problems head-on as soon as they appear.
Watch out for
- Because you show little, your partner may find it hard to read how warm you feel.
- If you lead with solutions, your partner may feel you didn't really hear them.
- Keeping your distance most of the time but being blunt only in conflict can catch your partner off guard.
Dating tips
- Now and then, add a little excitement to everyday life with a small unplanned surprise.
- Before offering a fix, start with "That must have been hard."
- When you raise a problem, start by saying you're doing it because you want to protect the relationship.
Great questions to ask me
- Let's set clear rules again right now to protect each other's boundaries.
Conflict prescription
Do
Quickly set sensible principles that respect each other's boundaries.
Avoid
Don't focus only on drawing clear lines and ignore the warmth your partner is missing.
Does this sound like you? Take the 60-question test to find your own type.
Take the test and find your typeOther types in Independent Realist
- S-M-T-C-A-RPractical Solution SolverI offer clean, practical solutions and handle problems intuitively the moment they arise.
- S-M-T-C-A-DClean Support BufferI support my partner intuitively, but when there's friction I take some buffer time to stay level-headed.
- S-M-T-C-E-RClear Talk Go-getterI keep conversations clear and transparent, and I talk conflicts through plainly instead of putting them off.
- S-M-T-C-E-DTransparent Trust BufferI build trust honestly and clearly, but when talks overheat I calmly pause for a moment.
- S-M-T-I-A-DClean Boundary BufferI build trust on respect for independence, and in a conflict we each return to our own space.
- S-M-T-I-E-RPlain Talk CloserI communicate plainly without fuss, and I clear up misunderstandings in the most rational, fastest way.
- S-M-T-I-E-DIndependent Realist BufferI communicate on a foundation of rational trust, and I talk only after taking time to think calmly.